A Long Walk

I was walking down a road last night. If you ask me where I was, I'd say I wont remember. Thats quite a funny answer though. Not remembering where you were and then telling a story about it. But then again, I guess the location doesn't matter, its the story that has to do the talking. I often forget the exact details of stories I narrate to people, a wipe of memory that I'm sure is not credited to my advancing age - I can maybe blame that on other things in my life.

Anyhow, back to where I was. It was a dark road that was laid cutting across a forest. I could feel the chilly breeze across my face. As I walked down, I could not even hear my own shoes clicking on the asphalt - the silence getting eerie. I wondered why on earth was this road so empty tonight or why I couldn't hear a soul no matter how hard i tried. Even the wind blowing the dried leaves lying on the floor was doing so silently. I almost had an impulse to check if I could still hear - was this how you turn deaf?

I lit up and started walking briskly. Again, I don't remember where I was heading to, but i felt a resolve in my legs as I moved ahead. I was quite enjoying the silence, but the loneliness was getting freaky. I had trouble focusing my eyes. I could see a leaf clearly, but then it took me a while to zoom out and notice the tree.

And then it happened.

Out of no where I swear, an old school friend crossed my path. Almost scared out of my wits, my cigarette fell. I called out, but she didn't seem to hear me. She just stood there in the middle of the road, fiddling with a tress of hair.

"Fuck you" I said, and moved on. I hate it when people don't pay heed to a call. Its irritating, and makes you feel horrendously stupid for even calling out in the first place.

A whack on the head slowed me down. Bullies from school were circling me. Making fun of the way I combed my hair, spoiling it with their hands. I seized up, thought to myself how I hadn't seen these blokes in years. And what a peculiar place to meet them again.

I walked into my school field, standing near the goalpost. A cricket match was being played, and I thought i saw a reflection in the bowler. It got dark in a second, and I saw the field light up with diyas, hundreds of them. Our school convocation going on, the proud faces of my parents shining. I walked down towards them, and just like my surroundings were bit by a chameleon, I landed up on another road. This one was a humped road, with me standing at a bus stand on its side. A Honda was parked there, from which I took a cigarette to light up again. It felt like the first time I had smoked.

The wind blew again, cold and chilly. As if asking me to turn around, which I did. A majestic clock tower caught my gaze. It must have been 10 : 34 by the look of it. A short walk forward took me to a beautiful temple made out of white marble. The path by its sides looked familiar. I set foot on it again to find myself standing in my hostel wing. A old bottle of McDowells Mera No. 1. lay broken on the floor. A few messages written over it. With my blurred vision, I couldn't quite make out what they said. A spark brought my attention back to the door, as one of my friends lit a cigarette. And as with bees following honey, I noticed all my fellow smokers moving ahead for a drag. Clearly, it was the last one left in stock.

I blinked, swayed my head. Unable to digest where all I had just been. Its not something I could comprehend, but it was like moving through the ages of my life, in parts of course.

Where was I? My mind drifted to those summer days at home, reading about Dumbledore's Penseive in a book. My sister nagging me that it was her turn to read. I got that feeling again. I guess a feeling I had forgotten ages back. The one that makes you feel that Life's never been better.

There was something I was getting conscious about though. I was deaf now, I'd never be able to hear another sound again. Damn, I still haven't heard all the songs I get in the mail everyday!

I spoke out loud, but couldn't hear myself.

Bang

I don't think I was supposed to remember what happened after this, or maybe I think this was the only part I was meant to recall later.

A tall and broad figure lay on the ground. A puddle of blood surrounding it. The strands of brown between the Grey hair revealing its identity.

Have you ever taken a breath like you were in a vacuum? Not gasping for breath, but trying to fill up your lungs to the limit and that too in the shortest possible time? Till they are at the brink of exploding with pressure?

My lungs would have exploded, just that I smoke so much that my mind had a reflex to prevent so much of air going in.

Panting and sweating I woke up. My watch read 3 : 34 AM. And I realized, I had been shot tonight.