Ive been here before. More often than I'd like myself to be. Its quite amazing how life, though cliched it sounds, brings you back to a point you worked so hard to get away from. A wise man once said that life is like a round about, you pass by each point more than just once.
Just for example, I've had more than a dozen cigarettes which i promise myself to be the last of my life. Sitting alone at the barista tonight, with my cigarette burning up its last few seconds worth of tobacco, i make that dreaded promise again. I know its a tough job giving up something you are so addicted to. A bit easier if forced into it, but a nightmare when you do it out of free will.
Sitting under the orange light, i take a look around to see the number of people lighting up. The familiar scent of burning tobacco filling my senses. I wonder, and with a plunging feeling in my heart, if my visits here would ever be the same again, now that i have kicked the butt.
My eyes are drawn to the girl sitting right opposite me as she lights up. My mind remembers the feeling of content as smoke fills up the lungs, the soothing nerve calming sensation, the relief that sets in as smoke blows out through the nostrils. Ah, I believe life will never be the same again. Especially these moments of solitude, where I have so often found company in my little friend rolled in paper.
Its written in Hindu scriptures that a soul is bound to a circle of existence - life to death to being born again. That funda brings a smirk to my face - the guys who wrote that couldn't have possibly missed the redundancy in life. Its almost as if the supreme forces were just too lazy to cook up a new storyline for mine.
If moksha is excusing oneself from the circle of existence, then i hope, maybe tonight i have taken the tangential path to my life.
As an afterthought, as the orange hues dawn upon me again, maybe not. With my head heavy from even understanding what all i have just written, my zippo clicks - yet again.
Varun Anand
11 : 30 PM
21st February, 2008
Barista, Hotel Sartaj, Green Park, New Delhi ... :)
2 comments:
hy bro!!
first time readin in ur blogs..nd th first topic i barge into is moksha!
th only companion i feel i hv in my life is tht frnd of mine rolled in a sheet of paper..which i smoke to feel calm...
i hv always said smokin is one habbit with which u cant survive..so live without it or die with it..i prefer to die with it..atleast it gaurantees me a life long companionship.. ;)
modi..
Wow, it's like the time wrap that you were talking about the other day. Life at its slowest and therefore the fullest (I'm also getting sucked into the philosophical metaphors).
Post a Comment