I've just logged in to write something today. I dont know what I'm going to be writing about. 

Its a nice feeling, actually doing whatever u feel like immediately. Not thinking about what I'm going to write about and not even questioning why this sudden urge has hit me.

But nevertheless, I'd write this post about my 'adventure' so far in Bangalore. 

Well, I'd say its a nice city. Probably in the absolute sense, you'd consider it to be a decent place to work and live in. However, the moment you start comparing it to cities like Delhi or Mumbai, lets just say it starts pissing you off. 

An interesting change in trends that has occured in Bangalore since I've landed here. I've always heard about the vibrant young energy that this city exudes. About the amazing night life, the mind blowing pubs and fun loving crowd. You might say that it was way too overhyped for me, but in hindsight I realise I've been smitten by bad luck. A few months before I landed here, pubs / clubs got a deadline to shut down by 11. Being a nocturnal lafanga from Delhi, I have to say that was enough to keep me depressed for life. And thinking things cant get any worse, dance floors have been banned in the city. People now travel all the way to Mysore to dance and shed off the week long fatigue that sets in. 

If that wasnt enough, live performances is the next thing to be banned here. Was this place called Ban-a-lore ? Or is that the name they plan to change to after Bangaluru? :|

Its an interesting argument the authorites give for banning most of these things. They say it increases the Crime rate. I'd just say thats escapist bull shit. Every major city in the world has a way of handling its night life. Whether its New York, Delhi or Dubai. The economic loss, not to mention pissing off residents has not been considered while implementing this ban. It's not the party-goers or the late night coffee buffs that commit crime, its the men who target them. You dont cut your foot off if your nails get too long. 

But at the end of it, I believe its the residents of this city that are to blame. Its not worth taking shit from an establishment that curbs the freedom of citizens. Dancing and relieving a long week's stress in a party is seemingly considered a crime in this nick of the woods. 

Reminds me of a certain establishment that imposed similar restrictions in a place not far away from our country - Afghanistan. Restrictions like these when enveloped in religious and cultural sentiments are harmful for a free environment. It's a suffocating feeling.

Dont the authorities have better things to do ? Why dont they take the bloody autowallas in the city to task? Every day people get threatened, fooled and harrased by these bunch of morons. A fair number of the city's crimes have them involved. Isnt that slightly more serious than to stop people from enjoying themsleves one a weekend? 

I notice alot of people around getting pissed off with these new set of rules. People who have lived here for years, away from their native places. Its important to remember why Bangalore became such a preferred location for IT industries to set up. It wasn't the infrastructure (there was hardly any) or a supportive government (I'd check no on that as well). It was more to do with the Human Resources that this place had to offer. People loved settling down in this city, for the life it 'had' to offer. 

With the cramped life-styles, rotting infrastructure and restrictive authority, its probably just the huge investments that have gone into this city that are stopping these industries from pulling out. Otherwise, I dont think its long before people get troubled enough to act on it. 

I'd like to add here, I'm not much of a party person - I do enjoy the occassional clubbing / pubbing - but its not really my way of life. But the reason why I feel so strongly about this is just because of the suffocating feeling that dawns on you when you get to know about these rules. You give me a logical reason, tell me its the best way to handle a situation and I'd obey your rule. If you can't do that, you are fuelling rebellion. 

:| My first post from Bangalore..

I don't quite seem to understand why they make South Indian Movies. I mean, sure a few of them are really good - good enough to be copied shamelessly by Bollywood directors.

Having said that however, one doesn't quite understand the pure madness that is created by a lot of Tamil / Telegu actors. I wont talk about Rajnikanth, I have to confess - I am quite his fan myself. Because of two things - one, He's a good actor (he's proved that in quite a few Bollywood movies) and secondly - I love the guy's guts (he pulls of the most wierdest of scenes and make them look 'cool' :P)

But again, back to my ranting - alot of the Tamil / Telegu actors that I've come accross in my 4 years at BITS and month and a half in Bangalore look like what 'uncles' look like when they have pumped out 5 kids, two wives and survive after 50 odd years of eating butter chicken :|

You add to that, the outrageous scenes that you get to see in their movies (my source has been purely YouTube - Search for Funny South Indian Scenes / Vijaykanthand and you'll get my point!). One often wonders, maybe these guys are made stars because no other self respecting young chap would even dare put his image through that kind of turmoil. :|

However, an interesting incident in this city. When I was out flat hunting, me and my flat mate came accross a Real Estate Agency. It claimed to have over 20 offices in Bangalore (we ended up visiting 3 - one in Indira Nagar and two near Airport Road). What was amazing was, every damn office we entered had huge posters of Rajnikanth, a huge potrait hung in the middle with aarti's and agarbatti's in a pooja plate right in front. :) Man, I freaked! It had to be one of the most amusing things I've seen in Bangalore till date. And I hope they are more to come..

Oh yes... Another thing - Dance floors are banned in Bangalore. I've been told its because of some confusion on the part of the Government that Dance floors mean Dance Bars.. :|

Ah, it feels nice.. I shall use this blog now to vent out my frustation at a lot of things that happen here.. The Buses / Autos are my next target! Stay tuned!


- Varun Anand
19th August, 2008
Office
Bangalore

A Long Walk

I was walking down a road last night. If you ask me where I was, I'd say I wont remember. Thats quite a funny answer though. Not remembering where you were and then telling a story about it. But then again, I guess the location doesn't matter, its the story that has to do the talking. I often forget the exact details of stories I narrate to people, a wipe of memory that I'm sure is not credited to my advancing age - I can maybe blame that on other things in my life.

Anyhow, back to where I was. It was a dark road that was laid cutting across a forest. I could feel the chilly breeze across my face. As I walked down, I could not even hear my own shoes clicking on the asphalt - the silence getting eerie. I wondered why on earth was this road so empty tonight or why I couldn't hear a soul no matter how hard i tried. Even the wind blowing the dried leaves lying on the floor was doing so silently. I almost had an impulse to check if I could still hear - was this how you turn deaf?

I lit up and started walking briskly. Again, I don't remember where I was heading to, but i felt a resolve in my legs as I moved ahead. I was quite enjoying the silence, but the loneliness was getting freaky. I had trouble focusing my eyes. I could see a leaf clearly, but then it took me a while to zoom out and notice the tree.

And then it happened.

Out of no where I swear, an old school friend crossed my path. Almost scared out of my wits, my cigarette fell. I called out, but she didn't seem to hear me. She just stood there in the middle of the road, fiddling with a tress of hair.

"Fuck you" I said, and moved on. I hate it when people don't pay heed to a call. Its irritating, and makes you feel horrendously stupid for even calling out in the first place.

A whack on the head slowed me down. Bullies from school were circling me. Making fun of the way I combed my hair, spoiling it with their hands. I seized up, thought to myself how I hadn't seen these blokes in years. And what a peculiar place to meet them again.

I walked into my school field, standing near the goalpost. A cricket match was being played, and I thought i saw a reflection in the bowler. It got dark in a second, and I saw the field light up with diyas, hundreds of them. Our school convocation going on, the proud faces of my parents shining. I walked down towards them, and just like my surroundings were bit by a chameleon, I landed up on another road. This one was a humped road, with me standing at a bus stand on its side. A Honda was parked there, from which I took a cigarette to light up again. It felt like the first time I had smoked.

The wind blew again, cold and chilly. As if asking me to turn around, which I did. A majestic clock tower caught my gaze. It must have been 10 : 34 by the look of it. A short walk forward took me to a beautiful temple made out of white marble. The path by its sides looked familiar. I set foot on it again to find myself standing in my hostel wing. A old bottle of McDowells Mera No. 1. lay broken on the floor. A few messages written over it. With my blurred vision, I couldn't quite make out what they said. A spark brought my attention back to the door, as one of my friends lit a cigarette. And as with bees following honey, I noticed all my fellow smokers moving ahead for a drag. Clearly, it was the last one left in stock.

I blinked, swayed my head. Unable to digest where all I had just been. Its not something I could comprehend, but it was like moving through the ages of my life, in parts of course.

Where was I? My mind drifted to those summer days at home, reading about Dumbledore's Penseive in a book. My sister nagging me that it was her turn to read. I got that feeling again. I guess a feeling I had forgotten ages back. The one that makes you feel that Life's never been better.

There was something I was getting conscious about though. I was deaf now, I'd never be able to hear another sound again. Damn, I still haven't heard all the songs I get in the mail everyday!

I spoke out loud, but couldn't hear myself.

Bang

I don't think I was supposed to remember what happened after this, or maybe I think this was the only part I was meant to recall later.

A tall and broad figure lay on the ground. A puddle of blood surrounding it. The strands of brown between the Grey hair revealing its identity.

Have you ever taken a breath like you were in a vacuum? Not gasping for breath, but trying to fill up your lungs to the limit and that too in the shortest possible time? Till they are at the brink of exploding with pressure?

My lungs would have exploded, just that I smoke so much that my mind had a reflex to prevent so much of air going in.

Panting and sweating I woke up. My watch read 3 : 34 AM. And I realized, I had been shot tonight.

Awake

A movie to watch over the weekend when you're bored and at loss for enthusiasm to go out.

I find myself lucky never to have been under a surgeon's knife. I know I'll be there someday, but after watching this movie you start doubting whether anesthetics are enough to keep you away from the pain.

An interesting fact on which the movie is based : In an year, about 30,000 people having surgery under the influence of general anesthesia are unable to sleep. The drugs affect the body in such a way that these people are physically paralyzed, with their eyes closed - but can hear / feel the surgery being performed on them. In short, their still awake when they are sliced open (hence the name :P ). With every tantalizing curve and slice of the surgeon's blade they face the excruciating pain, but are unable to scream for help or react. This they say, is called "anesthetic awareness".

It kind of brings me memories of certain dreams that one has every now and then. You would know what I'm talking about, or you may just not remember having them. Its when you cannot control your physical actions within the dream, feeling entrapped inside your own body as things happen around you. The helpless and depressing feeling that surrounds you in that dream is what I could relate to when I saw this movie. Of course, it was no where compared to having your chest sliced open for a heart transplant.

This movie is about a young rich billionaire named Clay Beresford (Hayden Christensen - decent job, just a bit too stone faced in the movie) who has lived his whole adult life trying to better the feats achieved by his father, who died when he was a kid because of a freak accident. Hugely successful as a master of mergers and acquisitions, he's created jobs for thousands and saved a number of companies from being washed away - all with a weak heart.

Jessica Alba (hot, and thats about it) as Sam plays his love interest, a girl who happens to be his mother's assistant and someone he has been seeing secretly for over an year. There is a much treaded Rich boy - Poor girl track which ensues in the movie as his mother (Lilith played by Lena Olin) is kept under the dark over the relationship. Knowing that he doesn't have much time in hand, and being on the heart donor list for over an year (O -ve blood group, very rare.. ) he asks Sam to marry him - against his mother's wishes. (Argh.... some movies just cant do without this, but well having watched it, fits in quite well.. )

And well, as fate would have it, as the two lovebirds are "trying" (weak heart remember? :) ) to consummate their marriage, Clay is paged that there is a heart available for him. He is then prepared for surgery by his friend and surgeon Dr. Jack Harper (Terrence Howard - Nice job!).

Just that when he's put to sleep on the operating table, his body seizes to move but he can still hear and feel as his chest is being cut open for a heart transplant. A few very well shot scenes in the movie make you squirm at the thought of having that done to you. However, thats not just what this movie is about. Clay hears the doctors plotting his murder as they operate on him.

A very interesting concept that could have almost made a superb movie. Just that there is a huge dip in the rush that the movie generates in the end. All in all, a one time must watch. :)

Moksha

Ive been here before. More often than I'd like myself to be. Its quite amazing how life, though cliched it sounds, brings you back to a point you worked so hard to get away from. A wise man once said that life is like a round about, you pass by each point more than just once.

Just for example, I've had more than a dozen cigarettes which i promise myself to be the last of my life. Sitting alone at the barista tonight, with my cigarette burning up its last few seconds worth of tobacco, i make that dreaded promise again. I know its a tough job giving up something you are so addicted to. A bit easier if forced into it, but a nightmare when you do it out of free will.

Sitting under the orange light, i take a look around to see the number of people lighting up. The familiar scent of burning tobacco filling my senses. I wonder, and with a plunging feeling in my heart, if my visits here would ever be the same again, now that i have kicked the butt.

My eyes are drawn to the girl sitting right opposite me as she lights up. My mind remembers the feeling of content as smoke fills up the lungs, the soothing nerve calming sensation, the relief that sets in as smoke blows out through the nostrils. Ah, I believe life will never be the same again. Especially these moments of solitude, where I have so often found company in my little friend rolled in paper.

Its written in Hindu scriptures that a soul is bound to a circle of existence - life to death to being born again. That funda brings a smirk to my face - the guys who wrote that couldn't have possibly missed the redundancy in life. Its almost as if the supreme forces were just too lazy to cook up a new storyline for mine.

If moksha is excusing oneself from the circle of existence, then i hope, maybe tonight i have taken the tangential path to my life.

As an afterthought, as the orange hues dawn upon me again, maybe not. With my head heavy from even understanding what all i have just written, my zippo clicks - yet again.

Varun Anand
11 : 30 PM
21st February, 2008
Barista, Hotel Sartaj, Green Park, New Delhi ... :)

Haa.

The queens necklace